Adoption

As an adoptive parent, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about Zoe’s birthmother. As the years go by and the more hectic day-to-day things get, I don’t find myself thinking about her as often but I can’t help but to always wonder what she’s like, what she looks like, what her cravings were during pregnancy, etc.

When Mother’s Day approaches, I wonder how she must feel. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t know her situation but I just have to think it’s a hard thing to digest. Another hard one is Zoe’s Birthday. You know a Mother will never forget the day she gave birth. I know what Zoe’s birth mom did was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life and I think the world of her for being able to do it. She wanted her daughter to have more than she could give her and Shelli and I were more than happy to be the ones to do it. There are so many things I want to know and struggle with. I feel so blessed to have Zoe and I thank God for her each and everyday. I’ve made many sacrifices to raise my daughter. All which were more than worth it. I don’t take one day for granted with her. I know people think I’m over the top when it comes to certain things but these are things I will not change. I am very passionate about the way Shelli and I raise our daughter and I take being a parent very serious.

I don’t know; maybe unless one is in the shoes of a parent who has adopted can one understand the concerns that come along with adoption. Maybe not so much concerns, but I often wonder will Zoe want to meet her birth mom, and if so, what will the woman be like. Will she accept Zoe in her life, does Zoe have any siblings, etc. I have nothing but admiration for Zoe’s birth mom for doing what she did. It was the ultimate sacrifice, in my opinion. I know it sounds odd, but somehow I feel connected to her and have much love for her.

A couple years ago, I tried and tried to get pregnant. I think between all the stress, drug treatments, and Doctor’s appointments it made me absolutely crazy. Going through any kind of fertility treatment isn’t a walk in the park. I had to give my body a break! I long for more children and I hope that one-day when Zoe is a little older, we will add to our family. Shelli and I have so much love to give and we know we want to expand our family.

I guess the reason for this blog is because I think that any adoption is a very private and personal matter. I find that it’s difficult to try and explain the feelings that come along with it. Some folks may think I’m a little over protective I’m sure. But, I wouldn’t take back anything part of the journey I went through to get to this point. Zoe is my reason for waking up each and every morning. She is what keeps me going when I feel like I just can’t any more.

Without DIVERSITY, this world would be a boring place!